Very short version of very long story. Graduated BYU totally closeted, married a woman because I felt forced to and was taught God would “fix” me if I did. It ended for other reasons. Prop 8 happened, I saw top LDS leaders lying in public statements about it, which taught me that I couldn’t trust them anymore. Integrity led me to re-examine everything I’d ever believed about Mormonism. I found it couldn’t withstand unbiased scrutiny once one was able to set aside the pre-programming and the confirmation bias. Resigning my LDS membership also resolved the inner torment I’d felt for years about being gay.
I don’t want to get into the very details of my experience but suffice it to say I eventually divorced from my wife. That was a rough but beautiful experience for both of us. We didn’t have children, so the split was a little easier. We are still decent friends and she completely understands why I was compelled to move on with my direction in life.
Coming out during that time was the most scary, exhilarating, and ultimately joyfully freeing thing I’d ever done. It cost me some friendships and family relationships, but over time I’ve found that those who really cared about me didn’t let my coming out stand in the way.
I couldn’t believe how much better I felt, as if an actual weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For days after I started telling friends I would break into spontaneous laughter at the sheer sense of relief. And I was amazed at how visible the change in me was. One person said “it was like somebody turned the gravity down around you.” Even my former stake president, having heard my story of why I had resigned my LDS membership, said “there is a light in you that I haven’t seen before.”
Duh, dude, its because I was finally my authentic self.
To this day, there is not a single pang or shred of guilt or regret, ever. I’ve dated, fallen for, ended things, played, made friends that became FWBs, and quite a few of which have become genuinely deeper friendships for life!
My life is wonderful and I couldn’t be happier. I love reading the stories here and reading all the stories, so I have finally contributed one myself. Keep making progress, friends! You are worth it.
We want to hear your story—here’s how to share it with us…
Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories website. Coming out is an important process that is different for everyone. Some experiences are difficult; while others are heart-warming and inspiring.
Coming out is rarely easy—but your story will help others draw inspiration and make progress by learning from your experiences.
We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive and invite you to share your story now.