July 21, 2019

Coming Out | Those who really cared about me didn’t let my coming out stand in the way…

Very short version of very long story. Graduated BYU totally closeted, married a woman because I felt forced to and was taught God would “fix” me if I did. It ended for other reasons. Prop 8 happened, I saw top … Read the rest here

Latter Gay Stories

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Latter Gay Stories

6 hours ago

There’s a lot of dishonesty in the way straight people talk about bisexuality. Religion, politics, masculinity, family expectations and fear all put a lot of pressure on people to keep sexuality simple and labeled. But we also know that human attraction has never been that easy and perfect.

Plenty of straight people have felt curiosity, chemistry, or attraction that didn’t fit perfectly inside the label they use (or forced to use), and most never feel any need to change that label or explain the experience to anyone. That doesn’t make them bisexual, but it does make the idea of bisexuality a lot less mysterious than people sometimes pretend.

And to be honest, gay people aren’t exempt from this either. Nearly 59% of LGBTQ adults identify as bisexual. Treating bisexuality as denial, indecision, or a temporary path on the way to being gay is still telling someone else that their own account of who they are can’t be trusted.

Bisexual people don’t need to prove their identity by dating men and women in equal measure, and they don’t stop being bisexual because they fall in love with one person and eventually stay there.

We can be okay calling bisexuality for what it is, not what we need it to be for us to feel better about ourselves—or to conform to what others told us we should believe. ... See MoreSee Less

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Latter Gay Stories

1 day ago

When my son was 12 years old, he told my husband and me that he didn’t think he would ever want to marry a girl. I remember not really knowing what to say. It was an unexpected conversation, and at that age I don’t think any of us really understood what it would mean for him or for our family.

As he got older, it became pretty clear to him and to us that he was gay. Unfortunately, our community and even our church were not the best places for him. He struggled to make friends, felt left out at church and was excluded from his Boy Scout troop on many occasions. At one point our bishop even encouraged him not to serve a mission, telling him that the Lord needed dedicated and focused young men, not those with “lingering issues” and “wounds unhealed.”

I watched those experiences change my son. The bright, happy little boy I had known became quieter and more distant. He didn’t smile as much and stopped sharing as much with us. As his mom, I wanted to take all the darn pain away to help him, but I didn’t really know what he needed. I just knew that it felt like we were losing a little more of him all the time.

He eventually graduated from high school, moved away from home and started attending Utah Valley University. He remained a little distant, and my husband and I tried to give him the space we thought he wanted. But I worried about him constantly. I wondered if he was happy, if he was lonely and if he had people in his life who really knew him and cared about him.

Then one day he told us in a text that he had met a boy. A while later, the two of them invited my husband and me to lunch at a park in Provo so we could meet him. I was nervous, and so was my husband. We had never seen our son with another boy before and honestly didn’t know what to expect. We talked about it on the way there and mostly just hoped we wouldn’t say something stupid or make either of them uncomfortable.

When we pulled into the parking lot, we could see their little picnic blanket set up next to a big oak tree. They had been watching for us, and when we got out of the car they stood up and started walking toward us and they were holding hands.

I don’t know if I can explain what I felt in that moment, but for the first time in almost ten years, I saw my son again. His eyes were bright, he had the biggest smile on his face and he looked completely happy. It was the same face I remembered from when he was little, before he started worrying about what everyone thought of him and whether there was something wrong with him. I remember looking at him and thinking, there you are. There’s my boy.

For years I thought we were doing everything we could to help our son through something difficult. What I finally realized was that he needed the same things my husband and I needed. He wanted someone to love and someone who loved him back. He wanted companionship and a person to share his life with. He wanted to feel like there was a future waiting for him that included work, sacrifice, family and happiness.

He never had a wound that needed to be healed. My son wasn’t damaged or broken. He was a young man who had been told by a lot of people that some of the most ordinary things we hope our children will someday find were things he wasn’t supposed to have.

I wish I had understood that better when he was 12. We loved him completely and were trying to be good parents, but loving our son also meant eventually being willing to question some of the things we had been taught about what his life was supposed to look like.

Today I love my boy and our bonus son more than I could ever put into words. I cannot imagine our family without them. More than anything, I’m grateful that the bright, happy little boy I remembered was never really gone. He just needed a little freedom to grow up and become the man he was always supposed to be. ... See MoreSee Less

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Latter Gay Stories

1 day ago

School is starting. Take five minutes to talk with your kid about kindness. ❤️

Teach them not to make fun of someone’s body, skin, home life, clothes, or interests. Worn-out shoes don’t define a person, and a used backpack can carry dreams just as big as a new one.

Remind them to welcome everyone, especially the kid who seems different or doesn’t quite fit in. Make sure they understand that teasing can stay with someone long after the joke is over, and school should never be a place where someone is made to feel small.

Some kids don’t go home to love, so a smile, an invitation to sit together, or one kind word can change their entire day.

It starts at home. Pass it on. ... See MoreSee Less

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Coming Out | Those who really cared about me didn’t let my coming out stand in the way…

Latter Gay Stories

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