It’s not for the faint of heart. It needs to happen only when one is totally ready and has thought it through.
No one should ever out another person. Ever.
Six years ago I had the spiritual experience that led to my coming out. My Parents in Heaven knew what I needed and knew that I would need to be good and ready. They were patient and led me by the hand. And waited as I figured things out the best I could. Coming out had to be my decision. They knew that.
It was an uproar. It was an emotional roller coaster. It took a long, long time for things to settle down around me and within me.
Now my queerness has settled into me and has taken it’s place as a part of my identity that neither overrules nor hangs back. I am a lot of things besides queer, and those lots of things work together better than ever before.
What do I notice the most now, six years later? What is the most significant consequence of coming out?
I have always loved beauty…nature, art, music. skilled craftwork, human behavior, words well said… The love of beauty has always been in my nature. But what I notice now that the inner parts of me no longer work against each other, now that my queerness has a place at the round table of my soul, is that my senses are keener. I see, hear, taste, smell, feel and intuit beauty more acutely. I smile more because the world is new every single day. I am me now better than I was me before.
Non-queers who would rather we not make noise about our queerness–who do not recognize the struggle of coming out and then criticize the act of coming out as something distasteful or rude…would they have us remain partial selves? I have never been complete until now, and the completeness is amazing.
Perfect actually means complete. That’s the original sense of the word. “Be ye therefore perfect,” is a call to completeness. Wholeness.
Don’t come out until you are good and ready to. Until it’s safe to. Until you have the support you can count on and the safeguards you need. And be ready for a hard ride.
But when you are ready, don’t let anyone stop you or dissuade you. I didn’t start living until just recently…because I came out.
We want to hear your story–here’s how to share it with us!
Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories blog. Coming out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult; while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Coming out is rarely easy–but your story will help others draw inspiration from your own experience. We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive and invite you to share your story now.