Comments (1)
  1. Pam Jensen (reply)

    October 16, 2019 at 11:42 am

    Oh how I wish my parents would have had these resources available to them in the ‘80’s when I came out. Life was so hard. I was told to stay aways from relatives I’d grown up with and I missed them when I couldn’t be “me” not that I was any different, it was the perception that was different. Then when cousins started getting married there were questions, but it was mostly written off because of my weight. “She can’t find a man because she’s too fat!” Was said more than once by more than one relative.

    I’ve since then had a cousin try to commit suicide, but thankfully the second attempt was thwarted. He’s suffering brain damage and is little more than a lap dog to his parents. My uncle was in SanFrancisco on cousin watch when my mom died. He could have switched weekends with his wife, but chose not too. My mother died the day before my 49th birthday. So I was helping pick out her casket on my birthday.

    When my aunt her her eldest daughter came through the line at the funeral all they could say was “ can you imagine the pain our poor son and sibling must have been in to try this” not a word about losing my mom. My rock and support system. I’m sure by this time they knew I was a lesbian-even though I didn’t look like one- whatever that means. It was all about his pain. Most of my relatives felt bad for him, rightly so. But he wasn’t the first, and probably not the last to be gay in the family. His brother is in a convenience marriage where both are gay and see other people. I could never do that! It’s so hypocritical. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me as I am. Gay, fat, and now in a wheelchair because I was hit head on by a drunk driver.

    I’m still not invited to family functions-even close family events, partially because I’m gay and partially because I’m now a burden in an electric chair. I’m ok with it for the most part. It still hurts, but I’m ok with it.

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