My coming out story is somewhat unique. After a little over 20 years of marriage and two children, I decided to be true to myself and come out to my friends and family. Admitting to my wife that I was gay was one of the hardest things of my life. Unless you have been in that situation, it is really hard to explain the experience. I love my wife. She is a wonderful person. Our children are the greatest joys in our life. Together we built a really wonderful life and on the outside we were everything Mormonism wanted (and expected). We were the living and breathing “Family: A Proclamation to the World.”
The thought of coming out and telling people I was gay accompanied me since I was in junior high. There wasn’t a day that went by since about 8th grade that I didn’t think about coming out. I buried those feelings and that eventually led me to taking the steps toward a temple marriage.
Just over twenty years after our wedding day, I sat my wife down and told her I am gay. That conversation led to many, many discussions and ultimately I got a divorce and reinvented myself while in the middle of my 40’s. After years of suffering in silence and feeling so alone, I put myself out there and found out that there were other gay dads, other ‘late bloomers’ like me. With their support and my new extended LGBT family, I became more confident in my identity and more comfortable in my skin. My support network (Affirmation, PRIDE, mentors, HR, ‘work wife’ and other gay men) helped me tremendously along the way – both physically and mentally, I am happier and healthier than I was 10 years ago. And being able to bring my whole self to work has made me a better employee! I started this journey five years ago and NEVER thought I could be this happy.
All the good things that have happened in the last few years were made possible because I chose to support myself and find authenticity. You can have that too. I want you to have it. It is never too late, or too gone to come out. At times I wish I would have come out younger, but you are younger today than you will be tomorrow, so quit putting it off.
We want to hear your story—please share it with us!
Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories blog. Coming out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult; while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Coming out is rarely easy—but your story will help others draw inspiration from your own experience.
We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive and invite you to share your story now.
Your story can be shared anonymously.