I have been following your blog and podcast–AND THANK YOU!!! In the 70’s I went to a psychologist and explained to him that I was unsure of coming out to my parents, especially as I was an only child. The “guidance” that this counselor gave to me while I was in college way back when was…“when they are ready to hear the answer, they will ask the question”.
I spent so much of my life worrying and wondering when “they” (my family) would finally ask the question: are you gay?
As much as I worried and feared that conversation, I determined to move on with my life as best and healthy as possible. So I moved across the country in a caravan with some friends from college and lived in a sleeping bag on the floor of the wonderful friend. His mother then convinced all of us to travel across the country with her. It was a wonderful experience.
I felt so exhilarated to be able to just BE MYSELF when I moved to Florida! I left my only family behind me 3500 miles to let my hair down. Then my family began to become ill and I was too far away to be there to help them…..
I had a year of letting my hair down, and I defied many odds to remain alive after getting myself into some situations that were NOT GOOD………. Even back in the late 70’s there were drugs, diseases and guns. I still wonder how I missed being caught up in that world.
Because of family illnesses and being somewhat lonely and homesick, I returned back home from a place that I loved very much, to be back with parents that I loved more than my freedom.
I was on my way out the door one evening to meet a man that I had met from Utah when my folks stopped me and wanted to talk. I didn’t even have on my radar the anticipation or expectation that they would ask me the question that asked.
They asked me if I was a “homosexual”.
I still keep thinking back to that psychologist from college that I went to who told me “when they are ready to hear the answer they will ask the question”….
Here was my chance, here was the opportunity I had spent my whole life both running from and running towards.
I simply said, “yes”.
My dad began to tell me how HIS DAD would be spinning in his grave if he had known of this. My mother already knew… She took me to a guest room in our home and showed me a magazine that she had saved when she started to wonder if I was gay when I was about 7 years old!
I regret listening to that psychologist about talking to my folks before I moved away. BUT I know I would not have found myself if I had stayed in Idaho!!!!!
Life leads us into the path that we need to walk! It just hurts my heart when I read about young people that have committed suicide because they were not able to have that opportunity to make that journey to find themselves before they decide to end their lives.
IT GETS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!
I want all of you to know that you are beautiful and worth it. Some people might not see that beauty. Some may NEVER see it, but I know it’s there because I had to find it too. I’m well into my seventies now and aging into maturity, looking back I would have cared less about what everyone thought of me and more about how I could discover ways of finding myself.
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Coming out is rarely easy—but your story will help others draw inspiration and make progress by learning from your experiences.
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