“This is my pseudo coming out story, sorry it’s a long story and does it count if I have only said it to one of my cousins?…
This is how events developed, last September on a trip to Brazil, I told it to the youngest of my cousins, who is gay and that I kind of tried to hate all my life (I don’t know why, maybe was because he was obviously gay from a very young age and everybody tried to hide it and I was beginning to understand my own sexuality and I knew that I was gonna be hated as much as he was beginning to be hated in my family… and the fact that I was in my early twenties and at that time one can be really bad understanding reasons, I don’t know if I made my point or not, but maybe you can understand the fact that it is still confusing to me why I tried to hate him)
I spent my vacations in a really chill manner, trying to bring some order to my mind and I had a nice time over there, we shared a few days together and we really bonded as cousins for the first time… last day there while we were having breakfast I felt an urge to apologize for being a such a douche bag for many, many years, and one thing led to another and I told him that we have more in common than just our mothers being sisters, but I’m also gay… there is a 11 year gap between us (I’m 32 and he is 21) and in my family is kinda taboo the fact that he is gay but he has been out for many years now so I think is easier for him than to me to say it to my family at this point of my life… I think it’s going to take me a little bit longer but I’m going to come to terms with my life sooner than later… after I was able to say it, we kinda cried a little bit and we hugged for a long time while we kept talking. It was nice, I had one of the warmest feeling of my life, it was like one of those times you “feel the spirit” in church but I haven’t believed in that for a long time, let’s say it was a rush of endorphins and adrenaline and dopamine that made me feel comfortable with the acceptance of the real me… I hope to be able to have a normal life, to find a nice guy to share my life with, but right now it still feels light years away… My family is just dealing with the fact that I’m going to resign from the church so I think I’m gonna wait a little bit before I drop another bomb.
Sorry if my English grammar isn’t the best, is because this is my second language and it’s still hard to sound as cool as I sound in Spanish (yes, I feel like Gloria Pritchett from Modern Family, if you haven’t seen the show, shame on you). Thank you for allowing me to share my story.
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Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories blog. Coming Out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult to hear while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Still, coming out is never easy and more often than not we draw inspiration from others through their stories. We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive. We invite you to share yours now.