Seven years ago (while celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary in Las Vegas), Josh and Lolly Weed made a quiet blog post announcing to their friends and family that Josh was gay, and together they were navigating life in a mixed-orientation Mormon marriage.
The Weeds expected to have a candid discussion about their experience, but they weren’t prepared to do it on a national and worldwide stage. Their story erupted into virality with millions and millions of people sharing and weighing in on their experience.
Josh and Lolly are arguably the most famous example of a mixed-orientation marriage in Mormonism. Their story has been used by LGBT allies and activists as an example of a disingenuous marriage and at the same time, Latter-day Saint leaders hailed the Weeds as an example of endurance and principle–using their story to convince other Latter-day Saints that mixed-orientation marriages were viable and healthy. Five years after their original blog post, the Weed’s announced their divorce.
In their first sit-down interview since their announcement of their divorce, Kyle Ashworth sits down with Josh and Lolly to discuss the beginning, middle and future of Josh and Lolly’s experience.
Comments (3)
Lee
September 2, 2019 at 1:57 pm
I loved this interview. But I have one nagging question- J & L are telling people that they shouldn’t enter into mixed orientation marriages, but they themselves view their own marriage as the right thing to have done. They would do it again knowing what they know now. It seems to me that, particularly with LDS youth who are willing and desirous to take on a spiritual journey, to do hard things if the Lord requires them, and especially gay youth who are unusually desperate to make whatever sacrifice the Lord requires to be acceptable, your example and attitude towards your own marriage might carry more weight than your verbal warnings.
I’m wondering how they might respond to kids who say “Why should we not pray about it and enter into a mixed orientation marriage if the Lord says it’s all right? It worked for you after all, even if your marriage did end in divorce.”
Again, thanks for sharing so much of yourselves over these years!
MHH
June 15, 2019 at 2:10 am
Great interview. Very inspiring.
I’d be interested in the current attitude of Lolly and Josh toward the LDS church. Particularly Lolly. Josh mentions having handed in his temple recommend and feeling betrayed by the church but doesn’t give a lot detail.
Have they both undergone a faith transition? Surely, this must have happened because it seems like there would be no way for their kind of family transition/augmentation to have been possible within the framework of orthodox Mormonism. In addition, their non-orthodox approach must have had devastating social consequences.
Any follow up comments on this by Josh or Lolly would be appreciated!
Kevin Rex
June 13, 2019 at 2:12 pm
Thank you, Lolly and Josh, and Kyle. Since I came out in 2013, your story, Lolly and Josh, has run parallel with my journey and it is full of emotion to hear how things are turning out now. My ex-wife went through so much that is like you’ve told here, Lolly, and it brings me to sadness, and then on to happiness, as she’s found someone to love now, too. She said to me that I made her a better person, and that feels good, though I wish I’d had courage to tell her from the beginning. It was a different era, though. Thank you for sharing this story so openly and so fully. It helps me heal, and I think it helps the world heal, too, and learn and grow to understand what it means to be gay. I am overwhelmed with many emotions right now, but overriding it is gratitude. Continued peace, love, and happiness to all of you.