Comments (4)
  1. Aaron (reply)

    August 18, 2019 at 8:15 am

    I don’t necessarily have any advice, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for telling your story! It takes tremendous bravery to share something so personal in a public forum, and I’m sure it took even more bravery to share your most authentic self with your family. This is brand new territory for all of you, so maybe just do your best to take things one step at a time. It sounds like you and your partner do well to communicate and are on the same page, which is so important. Sending you good vibes from Chicago! I’m confident things will work out for you.

  2. Bethany Schull (reply)

    August 18, 2019 at 10:17 am

    Your feelings are completely normal. It’s okay to feel the need to isolate and process. My advice would be to give yourself some space from your parents and family. Focus on yourself and your partner for a little while. And in regards to thinking about your future, maybe consider how much you actually want your parents around your future spouse and children. If they are toxic and antagonizing to you, they may be worse to others. Flip the narrative, they need to earn your and your future families trust and acceptance. Not the other way around.

    Best wishes. I am also ace and queer and formally Mormon, and married to a trans masc non-binary partner. So I can relate especially to how Asexuality can be negatively viewed by Mormonism. If you would like to discuss more, I’d be happy to brainstorm ways to respond to harassing family questions. Perhaps tell your parents to reach out to encircle or another queer Mormon related group to help with their education instead of asking you harassing questions. My email is my FB name is Bethany Schull.

  3. Laura (reply)

    August 18, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    I just want to say that you are brave, you are valid. I have two ace daughters and I am so sorry your mom can’t give you support and love. I am here for you any time. My email is and my Instagram is lgbtqmomma.

  4. MelissaJ (reply)

    August 18, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    I came out at age 36 as a lesbian. I was overwhelmed at the support I got from many family and friends. Everything was falling into place and I was finally being true to myself. Until I came out to my mom. She questioned the validity of my gayness and suddenly so did I. My fear of disappointing my mother had come true. I now have to fight that fear in order to be myself.
    My personal and “mental health professional” opinion is that what you experienced is “normal.” Our whole lives we are figuring out who we are, separate from our parents. Our whole lives our parents are picturing who we will become. For that reason coming out to parents can be complicated. Coming out is a process that doesn’t seem to be as simple as opening a door. You will continue to find yourself and learn to be yourself even when important people can’t accept it. 💜

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