Many really cool things happened to me this year. I think of the best friends I have made, the whole PRIDE month experience, spending holidays with family and trying to live my best life, I couldn’t be happier with the person I am discovering within myself.
As all of these events pass by, I kept one enormous secret hidden: I am bisexual. Well, after 3 years together, I finally came out to my girlfriend! Please bear with me as I try to put all of my recent emotions and thoughts into words.
I am a guy, 34 years old, and raised in a very LDS Mexican family (yup, we were pretty staunch). From a young age, I knew I could develop feelings towards boys and girls, but what did that made me? A lack of information meant that I had to bottle everything up inside of me and plow through life knowing I was different… Looking back I see how unhealthy life was for me. There was no information available to me from my family and even my own faith community didn’t want to talk about it. So I was left with the internet and my own thoughts to guide and teach me.
Fast forward to the present… I’ve been living and working outside of Utah and my job has given me the ability to travel all over for work. Life is so much more different outside of Utah.
So about four years ago, a girl came to work to our company as part of a work visa program. We immediately connected. She was beautiful and stunning in every way… and long story short, after 1 year of flirting, we started dating. At the beginning there was a tiny language barrier but little by little her English and Spanish became better (she speaks Polish, I speak Spanish/English, yikes)… I had to find different ways to explain what my feelings or my emotions meant, and I truly believe that this search of vocabulary to explain myself cemented a strong sense of communication and understanding.
I started to fall for her more and more and of course that made it more difficult for me to completely open up. All those feelings, bottled up insecurity, struck me each time I wanted to tell her that I was bisexual but when I would finally find the courage, I would change the subject.
On the outside I was a calm person, but inside I was tearing apart. I mean… How would she react? Would she leave me? After 3 years together, would she still accept me? I have never lied or cheated in any way, and the least I wanted to do is to hurt her.
So, about two weeks ago, after hanging out at a party with friends, we came back home and sat in the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of chocolate milk and I trusted my gut feeling. It was time to tell her.
I told her I needed to talk to her about something very important to me. She immediately realized it was something serious, since my voice started shaking. And after taking 3 deep breaths, I did it.. I opened up.
I must have spoken for 2 hours straight (Ha!). I kept looking at her eyes… and then I finally came out: “So…what I’m trying to say is… that I’m bisexual, and I’ve always been…” what I said after didn’t really matter since I was in shock that I actually did it. In fact, I can’t even remember what I said after that.
When I was done, she was sitting there, quiet for what felt like an eternity.
I was waiting for her to say something. Anything to break the silence. She said: “Hey… I love you and who you are… I want to be with you, thank you for opening up. I am here for you.”
I was speechless, and then the biggest tears started to run down my face, so freely. We hugged. She kept telling me how much she loved me and that she wasn’t going to go anywhere.
I cried. Like I’ve never done so before… I still get chills thinking about that moment.
(Brief pause to explain what was going through my head)
Honestly I don’t know what sort of reaction I was expecting, I mean, after all, there I was opening up to the girl I would like to spend the rest of my life with… Deep inside, at that specific moment, the only thing I had going on were: “ OMG, I did it”, “Wait… what?”, “I’m free!”, this “Secret” has been so heavy in me for many years, and of course, after all this time she would be the person I would tell first.
Once I was able to gather myself a bit more and thank her for her love and support, I offered to get some literature on the LGBT community and on bisexuality. She agreed to the idea, which was great. I truly think that we can shield ourselves with KNOWLEDGE, because we all know that in this world, bigotry and hatred are around the corner.
The next step is setting boundaries and limits in our relationship. But at least I know that we have entered another level in our relationship.
My “coming out” prompted me to share my experience with you all. I encourage you to be yourself. Trust in the love you have nurtured with your partner (or spouse if you have one), because as long as you love each other unconditionally, you have nothing to fear and the result will take you to the next level.
Also, for all of those struggling with coming out, please know that you are not alone… And if you ever need any help or advice, please reach out, or post directly to the community. Remember that communities like the Latter Gay Stories are there to help create a safe environment where we can open up and support each other. I have gained so much from this resource and many others and they have changed my life.
I encourage you to be BRAVE, be STRONG, and be PROUD!!!
Sending you all Love and Light so it can shine wherever you are, in or out!
We want to hear your story–here’s how to share it with us!
Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories blog. Coming out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult; while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Coming out is rarely easy–but your story will help others draw inspiration from your own experience. We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive and invite you to share your story now.