Hi everyone! I am 22 years old, and a student at BYU. I came out just a few days ago, and it was better than I ever could have imagined. Here’s my story:
My roommate and I are best friends and have been since we were in junior high. We are shooting for the same degree and have a bunch of the same classes and hang out together all the time. I knew after a few months of living together that this is the person who I wanted to come out to. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it until now! For the few weeks prior to my outing, every time I looked at him I imagined myself coming out. I just couldn’t formulate a way to do it in my mind. I was scared he wouldn’t accept me and that our friendship would be over.
The other day my roommate was taking a practice test and wouldn’t be back until around 2:00 in the afternoon. I sat at my computer and wrote down exactly what I wanted to say to him. Finally, he came back and I found myself at a loss for words. We both went to lunch at Panda with some friends, but didn’t sit next to each other. I started a text message to him and it said “Sooooo when we get back to the room can we talk about something”. I pressed the send button but couldn’t bring myself to let go of the button and send the text. Nevertheless, I did it. He responded saying “Sure, am I in trouble? :p”. Of course I responded saying no.
At this point I couldn’t focus on anything. We finally get back to our apartment and he sits on his bed, smiling, asking if I was ready to talk. I knew he knew exactly what I wanted to say. I said yes, but quickly changed my answer to no, because one of our friends came storming into our room. My roomie looks at me and says he isn’t leaving until we talk. I’m so glad he said this because he knew how badly I wanted (needed) to tell him.
I looked at him and everything I wrote before wasn’t able to escape my mouth. I stared at him, trying to speak, but couldn’t. My eyes began to tear, only a little bit, and he just looked at me, patient as could be. I had to have sat there for a good few minutes without talking, until finally, in a shaky voice, I ask him, “Can what I’m trying to tell you just be understood?”. He responded saying yes, and it was finally out there, after years of being kept locked away. He asked who else knew, and I told him nobody. He told me he was happy for me, and how he was glad I felt comfortable enough to tell him.
I proceeded with a shaky voice and asked if he had any questions. He had a few and I was glad he did. I looked at him with relief, still sad, and he asked if I needed a hug. I said yes and while we awkwardly hugged he told me he wouldn’t judge me if I started crying. (I never let myself get that far, but that point was very close).
The next day I asked him what he thought about it, and he said he really hasn’t thought about it, and it did not change anything between us. I wish I was able to tell him sooner, because he was more supportive than I ever thought he would be. He still considers me one of his best friends, and said he’ll talk to me about it whenever I wanted.
I haven’t told anyone else yet, but I don’t feel the need to at this time. I wish I could be publicly out, but this is BYU and even though things are much better, they aren’t good for LGBT people. Such a large load has been lifted off my shoulders, and I can not thank my roommate enough for that.
For everyone else out there who wants to come out but is scared, if you have someone that you can’t stop thinking about telling, chances are you’re finally ready, and there is no reason to be scared if you trust the person you think about coming out to. I always thought I was the only RM that dealt with all of this. Look at me now! I came out to someone that knows me. It has been so refreshing and uplifting.
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Each Sunday we feature a new Coming Out Story on the Latter Gay Stories blog. Coming Out is an important process that is different for everyone; some experiences are difficult to hear while others are heart-warming and inspiring. Still, coming out is never easy and more often than not we draw inspiration from others through their stories. We rely on weekly submissions to keep the Coming Out Stories alive. We invite you to share yours now.