February 18, 2020

Hi, I’m Brenda

Hi I’m Brenda Butler. I’ve been told I’m a down to earth person or salt of the earth. I always try to have an open heart and open mind. I love nature: the mountains, skies, flora and especially animals. I … Read the rest here

Latter Gay Stories

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Latter Gay Stories

16 hours ago

Thanksdreading: dreading Thanksgiving dinner with the family because it means awkward and sometimes offensive conversations that can often feel targeted.

Here are some tips to help make Thanksgiving a little bit more enjoyable for you and the fam.

There is never a winner in a dinner-table fight. Ever. Sometimes we have to choose between being right and being happy. Choose being happy each and every time. Take the high road—there will be plenty of opportunities to be right. Make the dinner-table a sacred space. You don't want to become the “bad guy”; let Crazy Aunt Beverly keep that title.

Assume good intent. Our family members, (including Crazy Aunt Bev) are usually good people who really want the best for us. They worry about our future, and they want us to have happy lives. They just don’t have the experience navigating the queer journey like you do. Give some grace for their lack of education and assume first that they have good intentions—instead of a vendetta.

Redirection. While Wayward Uncle Bob just can't help but argue about sex, politics, and religion, most people at the family gathering will roll their eyes and wish that something else was on the agenda. Come ready to talk about a few other topics, like what color your next iPhone should be, a silly cat video, or how horrible it is to drive in the snow.

If all else fails, walk away. Sometimes Weird Aunt Wendy can't take a hint, and the rest of the family lets her get away with anti-LGBT nonsense. Rather than get pulled into an ugly fight (remember rule #1), make up a reason to step away from the table.

Don’t be afraid to share. Sometimes we hold back our experiences and stories out of fear that we will be rejected. In many circumstances our families DO want to hear about our life details that bring us joy. Are you dating? How is school? Crushes? These little details help other family members open conversation and create feelings of belonging. Don’t hide behind your queer joy. Own it.

#LatterGayStories #ThanksGAYving ... See MoreSee Less

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Latter Gay Stories

3 days ago

Many LGBTQ Latter-Day Saints have found comfort in the language of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”

Orthodox Latter-day Saint believers have used the Proclamation as a bludgeon against the LGBTQ community, citing it as “definitive” and “crystal clear as to how God sees the organization of families.”

However, a plain reading of the Proclamation indicates that there is room for nuance and individual adaptation. In fact, it leaves lots of room.

Phrases like “most likely”, “other circumstances”, and the “affirm[ation of] the sanctity of life”, offer ample space for diversity within the Proclamation.

Transgender Latter-day Saints know and affirm that their “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

Families with same gender or transgender parents are families too. Children raised in these families, especially through adoption, are an affirmation of the sanctity of life where “love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities” are afforded.

Families who enjoy the unique blessings of queer parentage indeed fulfill the Proclamation’s gateway promise that “other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.”

“Successful marriages and families” statistically are gay couples who enjoy a divorce rate that is remarkably lower than heterosexual couples.

Intended or not, there are many ways The Proclamation support queer families; perhaps we should focus on loving and building strong families—of all varieties—and far less effort in trying to put words in God’s mouth? ... See MoreSee Less

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Latter Gay Stories

4 days ago

This has been an autumn of excellent reading! 🍁🍂

I’m excited to see “Dictates of Conscience” (Laurie Lee Hall) and “The Boughs of Love” (Nathan Kitchen) in my hands!

Each is modern-day scripture. ... See MoreSee Less

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Hi, I’m Brenda

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